Sydney - 6 Days

DAY 1 - Saturday January 7

December and January, it turns out, are Australia's most expensive months if you're a tourist.  The combination of Christmas, New Year's, and the schools being out for summer holidays, sends the price of accommodation through the roof.  In lots of ads we looked at, they tripled.  Sydney accommodation is expensive to begin with, so our plan was to stay only long enough to buy a van and then move on to something more remote and cheaper.  We gave ourselves six days.

Driving our rental van from Sydney International to the cottage was my first time on the left hand side of the road.  We load up, go to get in, and go to the wrong doors.  I try to adjust the rear-view mirror and reach to the wrong side.  I try to signal as we leave the parking garage, and the window wipers come on.  ESP pulls the straps on the carseats a little tighter.

Without the Tom Tom GPS unit that Dad lent us, we'd all be dead now.  We would have been killed in a head-on collision as we fumbled with a map and tried to interpret the rapid-fire signage through the jumble of freeways and exits.  With Tom Tom dealing out directions in her calm, completely non-judgemental voice, all I had to concentrate on was staying left and staying inside the lanes. 

That's not as easy as it sounds.  In Alberta, I'd say you have at least a foot, maybe 18 inches, of lane to spare on each side of your car.  In Sydney it's more like 6 or 8 inches.  Put yourself in a larger vehicle than you usually drive, on the wrong side of the road, after a 14-hour red-eye, with two screaming kids in the back and one screaming wife in the front - and then try it.  You'll drift left too.  As you look to the wrong side for your rear-view mirror and panic when it's just not there, you'll drift left.  As a bus passes you on the right, and it feels like your side mirror is bound to scrape it, you'll drift left.  You can watch yourself do it like it's out of your control.  Your instincts kick in and try to save the day: "Whoa, buddy, you're driving crazy.  You're way over to the right.  You and your steering wheel should be over on the left edge of the lane.  Here, lemme help you… "  You may not actually run into the curb like I did, but you'll come close.

Tom Tom saved us.  She told us what lane to be in, she warned us well in advance of upcoming turns, and when we missed them anyway, she was quick to get us found again.  She even gave us the option of avoiding toll roads.  We got to our rented cottage safe and sound and started acclimatizing.

The time changeover is surprisingly smooth.  We land in Sydney at 11:00 am AU time (5:00 pm our time), and we all manage to stay awake until 7:00 pm AU time.  It is 23 °C, breezy and sunny, and we can feel the relaxation start to permeate our souls.  JDP drives to a little nearby town and brings back some fast food and beer.  We kick back, munch on chicken subs and fries, and revel in how smooth things are going. 

As suddenly as the calm sets in, so does the storm.  SJP starts crying and is inconsolable.  This from a child who is always consoled by a little bounce or some warm milk.  She is screaming in our bouncing arms and flat out refusing to nurse.  All our tricks to calm her are falling flat - she hates Australia.  5 minutes turns into 10, and then 15, and I start contemplating our first trip to the emergency room.  As soon as the thought enters my mind she falls peacefully asleep (and sleeps soundly until 5:00 am).  JDP and I have a beer on the patio and fall asleep shortly after. 

SMP with the infamous 'Puppy'

Breakfast at Linley Cottage

DAY 2 - Sunday January 8

We head to Lane Cove to do some grocery shopping.  The groceries are a bit pricier than back home, but are still reasonable.  Dairy is much cheaper (as in 3 bucks for 4 litres of milk), but produce is quite expensive (as in 3 bucks for 6 bananas).

Lane Cove is a lovely little neighborhood with a laid-back vibe - lots of cafés and boutique shops, a public library, aquatic centre and shopping plaza. We find a little shaded green patch in the centre of the plaza where the kids can play and we can access some much-needed caffeine.  SMP amuses herself by chasing birds and a ball, while SJP looks around smiling and wide-eyed as usual.  We can't quite get over the fact that we are lounging around in our shorts & t-shirts.  Life is good…

In the plaza at Lane Cove

DAY 3 - Monday January 9

We are in car-shopping hell.  Our laid-back vibe has vanished and now we are driving from lot to lot with two very bored, very hot, very loud children trying to find a minivan (people-mover) that costs less than $10,000, and that has not previously been underwater or lit on fire - it appears that there are none!

In the midst of all this misery SMP gets stung by a bee.  The first-aid kit is (of course) back at the house with the Epi-pen (SMP had a mild allergic reaction to a wasp sting last summer).  I frantically type hospital into the Tom Tom and we start heading towards the nearest Emergency (Just in Case).  SMP is screaming, which gets SJP screaming, and we are slightly panicked.  After a couple deep breaths, we realize that SMP is not going into anaphylactic shock.  We pull over to a Pharmacy (Chemist) to get some Valium - I mean After-Bite Lotion.  We decide that an internet search for a vehicle will be less stressful.

Not so - the only place we can find WiFi is at the public library and the connection is so slow it takes a about 5 minutes for any page to load.  Our painfully slow search leads us to the conclusion that there are a million camperized vans, but very few family-type vans available in Australia.  We also find out that the cost of a new Kia Carnival (the van that we are renting and which seems ideal) runs about 40 grand, and a dealership we were at earlier today told us to stay away from the older models as they blow their engines on a regular basis.  We were also told to stay away from the Chryslers.  That left us looking for Toyota Taragos - which cost more than we wanted to pay, and were few and far between.

At the start of our internet search SMP is quietly amused by the books, fish tank and cubby holes in the library.  About part-way through she turns into a crazy person and starts running up and down the corridors screaming (albeit they are happy screams).  We are met with a combination of amused (isn't she cute), and 'shut-your-child-up-or-I-will' glances from library patrons.  When SJP decided to chime in it was time to go.  We are quickly running out of car-shopping time and feel farther behind than when we started...

We realize that what is in store for us over the next couple days is not conducive to one's sanity.  To buy a vehicle privately (which is the cheapest option) we have to run all around Sydney (and beyond) looking at vehicles one-by-one (and here's the kicker - we have to bring two small children along who by all appearances do not seem to enjoy shopping for cars).  On top of that we have to get a mechanical inspection, transfer the vehicle into our name, buy registration (Rego) and insurance - all at different places.  And for the grand finale - there is  no guarantee that the used backpacker vehicle we buy isn't going to blow up as soon as we hit the highway.  Why did we think we could do this in 6 days?  Stress level - 10!!!

DAY 4 - Tuesday January 10

We are still in car-shopping hell, but now we are in the backpacker's section of Sydney in car-shopping hell (King's Cross), so it is a dirty, STD-ridden corner of hell, with dread locks and no money.  The Lonely Planet advises us about a big car market in King's Cross where you can buy vehicles privately - it feels like it could be our salvation.

What we thought would be row-upon-row of well-priced and suitable vehicles for our choosing turns out to be a fast-talking guy in a garage with only five vehicles - none of them minivans.  "I know whatchoo need mate" he says to JDP, after eye-balling the children and the chariot - "whatchoo need is a wagon.  I just happen to have two right here…."

The first wagon is a rusty 1996 with 280,000 km that we could 'steal' from him for a mere 5 grand, the second is a couple hundred cheaper, a couple years older, with 50,000 more km on the odometer.  No thank you.  But, the Chariot does fit in the wagon, and we think it will also fit the rest of our gear, so we are left pondering if the cheaper and more readily available wagon is a better choice than the expensive and elusive minivan.

We check out a couple more dealers in the area and find a couple of more suitable (AKA cheap and reliable) wagons.  Still overpriced, but after a glass of wine at a nearby restaurant (and a taste of how good it would feel to return to our mission-free selves), we decide that buying from a dealer is our best option.  With only two days before we have to leave Sydney and head south (via prebooked accommodation down the east coast until the end of January), time was running out.  We decide to buy the wagon we like best - a little abused, but a 2001 Ford Falcon with only 160,000 km.  We bargain it down to five grand (including rego, inspection, warranty, and insurance).  At this point, however, we would have paid at least ten grand for that sweet ol' wagon - just to make the suffering end.  We are told they can have it ready by Thursday afternoon - just in time...

So, we are not the cool VW van family we pictured we would be down here.  We are more like the Griswolds, minus the dead grandmother on the roof rack and the dead dog dragging behind.  Time for some new names.

¯ Holiday Ro-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oad…¯

Clark Griswold

Ellen Griswold

Rusty Griswold

Audrey Griswold

Ellen and Audrey at Hyde Park after the headache of car shopping is done

Rusty at Hyde Park

DAY 5 - Wednesday January 11

Today we are back to being tourists and we head off to the Sydney Aquarium.  Home to every imaginable sea creature, with gigantic tanks and fascinating interpretive displays, it is a pricey admission but worth every penny.  Rusty yells her face off at the turtles, chasing after them, pointing, with her nose smearing across the glass.  "Tortoe! Tortoe!" she yells, over the voice of the guide.  There was some kind of emergency in her head, and she had to let everyone know: "Tortoe!!" 

"Sorry," we say to pretty much everybody.

That is just the first room.  Her eyes get wider and wider as we move along.  After the turtles, there is an octopus, a lobster the size of a cat, a giant crab (over a meter across), and a 10-meter Great White Shark.

The shark is just too much for her.  Her eyes are as wide as they can go, so she just backs farther and farther away.  She backs all the way out of the room and around the corner.  From that safe distance she peeks around the corner to take a look, but won't get very far away from us.

A 10-meter Great White Shark is a terrifying thing.  It's gigantic.  It looks like a bus that's made mostly of teeth.  It could swallow you whole, but you'd never get past all those rows of teeth.  Rusty kept looking back long after we'd left that section of the aquarium.  I guess to make sure it wasn't following her.

The route through the aquarium takes you through various marine ecosystems, punctuated by a few massive tanks that have underwater walkways.  We walk through glass tubes on the floor of the tank and are surrounded by ocean life.  From the surface looking down it doesn't look like much more than a pool of water with the occasional brightly coloured fish.  From inside the tubes, it's Grand Central Station.  Rays or sharks or sea-cows glide over you within inches of your face while schools of fish of all sizes are as curious about you as you are about them.  Audrey sleeps through most of it, but is awake and wide-eyed for the Great Barrier Reef section.

Ellen and Audrey under the sea

DAY 6 - Thursday January 12

We spend the day tying up loose ends. We shop for a few things we decide that we can't live without - sun visors for the wagon windows, seatbelt covers, a leash for Rusty, some water holders for the Chariot, beach cover-ups for the kids, etc.  Clark drops off the rental van and picks up the Swagg'n Wagon.  I take it for a little test run around our quiet neighbourhood and realize how terrified Clark must have been driving on the eight-lane freeway from the airport - I vow to stop yelling at him.

I get a kick out of organizing our ride.  Sun visors for the side windows, seat organizers for each of the girls - Sophie and Mum-Mums for Audrey - Laptop, colouring pad and granola bars for Rusty.  A place to put water bottles for both girls and us.  We are pleasantly surprised that us and all of our gear fit quite comfortably.  I guess all those families in the 70's knew what they were doing.

DAY 7 - Friday January 13

We take the wagon back to the dealer for some minor fix-ups - light cover, wheel bearings, trunk lock.  They are fantastic and get us road-worthy in no time.  The mechanic comments "we don't see many families with such young children taking this kind of trip."  Just one more person hearing our plan and putting a checkmark in the crazy column. 

So, now we have 3 keys for the wagon - one to get in the door, one to start the ignition, and one for the trunk - we need to mark the keys as the one we want always seems to be the last one we try (Murphy's Law right).   After a shot of espresso in Botany Bay (incidentally where Captain Cook first landed) we are ready to roll - Holiday Ro-oh-oh-oad…